Why don’t people listen?
There are a number of reasons why people don’t listen to you, and as uncomfortable as it can be, we have to look at ourselves and what we do or say can cause people to tune out.
Here are seven reasons why people don’t listen:
1. You don’t listen
Ask yourself, ‘Do I listen?’ You may hear what people say, but do you listen and acknowledge what people are saying? If someone doesn’t feel that they’re being listened to, they’re likely not to listen back.
2. You gossip a lot
We all love a chat, but often, what starts as an informal catch up can turn into a gossip session leaving people wondering what you say about them.
3. You’re judgemental
We all form opinions, it’s part of our DNA, but it’s how you manage those judgements, and voice them, that can make or break a reputation. Reflect back on past conversations and see if there was anything that could have been said from a personal rather than professional perspective.
4. You’re negative
Do you have a tendency to look on the negative side? As good as it can be to question or be cautious, too many negative comments can make people assume that you’re dismissing their ideas and are less likely to come to you in the future.
5.You confuse your opinions with facts
It’s easy for us to get wrapped up in our own opinions, but have you weighed your opinions against the facts? Sometimes we ignore the facts and settle for our own opinions because it’s easy and matches our own feelings when we should step back and think from a different perspective.
6. You’re interrupting others
Whether you get excited and want to share your enthusiasm, or want to correct a mistake, when you interrupt others, it can be seen as dismissing the other person’s own thoughts and ideas.
7. You’re not confident
If you’re not confident about what you say, then those around you are likely to think that you don’t have confidence in your idea, or thoughts. Confidence gives conviction which people recognise.
So how do you get people to listen to you? After all, you have great ideas which deserve to be shared. This is where the HAIL approach comes in.
H – Honesty
Don’t be afraid to share your thoughts and ideas. Be honest! It helps build stronger, more meaningful relationships and creates a safe space for people to talk.
A – Authenticity
When you stop being honest, you stop being authentic. You stop being the real you. We’ve all met someone who’s tried to be someone they’re not. Don’t be afraid to own what you have to say.
I– Integrity
Mean what you say and do what you say, show there’s consistency in both your thoughts and action.
L – Love
Share your thoughts, ideas and observations with the view to make a positive impact.