Pity the City’s introverts now the Night Tube is here, how will they get out of dreaded work drinks now?
Hurrah for the almost mythical Night Tube.
We’ve known of its existence for nigh on two years, had to wait a year for delays and now, as you’ll already be aware, it will finally come into action tonight.
The City is likely to be awash with its usual revellers and more asides, bolstered by the knowledge that they don’t need to rely on a potentially pricey Uber or black cab to get home.
Read more: Four ways London will benefit from the Night Tube
But there is another demographic that has been caught up in all this, and they deserve a moment of sympathy.
Yes, the introverts in our midst, who are no doubt feeling trapped and alarmed to have lost their once-robust get-out clause for work drinks and terrible parties.
Here are The Capitalist’s words of advice for those who are craving the pre-24 hour tube excuse to leave a party early.
1. Your ever-so-busy fitness schedule
Say you have a crack-of-dawn run, cycle, yoga class or – if you’re really good at lying – triathlon training to attend. In this day and age of relentless fitness fanaticism, people will believe you. Feel free to look smug as well.
Read more: 24-hour London worth £43bn to the capital's economy
2. Housemates
Blame housemates. Harder if you don’t actually live in shared accommodation anymore, but if you do, this is exactly why they exist. Remember to rotate this with other excuses, but once a month or so: your kitchen can flood, someone can get locked out or your landlord can be visiting at short notice. Yes, even on a Friday.
3. Just move
Move to an area not covered by the Night Tube. Admittedly a long-term strategy, but you have the Circle, Bakerloo, Overground and a host of other lines to choose from in your avoidance.
This could also be a financially-savvy option – letting agents are already expecting rents to rise near stations on Night Tube lines.
But most of all – be brave, try and stay out a bit longer and, hard as it might be, remember there are lots of others who feel your pain.