Just leave me to my basic b***h pumpkin spice latte, ok?
We are well into Starbucks pumpkin spice latte season and I for one will be openly celebrating this seasonal joy, says Lauren Potts
Nothing seems to irk certain corners of the internet more than the humble pumpkin spice latte (PSL). The sneering usually comes from a certain type of person – mostly coffee snobs and boomers – and it’s almost always aimed at women. Depressingly, our hot drinks now come with a shot of misogyny.
In summer, we’re slapped with the ‘basic bitch’ label for liking a chilled rosé; in autumn, it’s because we prefer certain flavours of syrup. As if life isn’t exhausting enough for women in 2024, now I’m supposed to feel ashamed for enjoying a drink that, while it may glow like toxic waste, impacts nothing but my pancreas.
When Starbucks announced its “autumn menu” – a bit of an overstatement – this summer, countless tweets condemned those of us traipsing to Starbucks to sit our PSL arses down. “It’s August! You’ve still got your Birkenstocks on! It’s 72 per cent humidity outside!” Undeterred, we ordered our lurid orange beverages on ice.
I concede that guzzling cinnamon-spiced drinks in summer is a bit like seeing Mini Eggs in January but it didn’t stop me from rolling up to the drive-through on launch day. There’s usually only about eight weeks before Christmas-themed hot chocolates bump PSLs off the menu for another year, so I welcomed its early arrival and drank two before the calendar hit September.
But this wasn’t the only reason I hopped on the bandwagon – I was ready to embrace what PSL season signifies. To paraphrase Ned Stark, it means autumn is coming and, damn it, that brings me joy. I love nothing more than packing away the summer duvet and getting my heated blanket out. It’s the perfect excuse to buy a new cardigan; to commence my annual Gilmore Girls marathon and daydream about living in a small town in Connecticut. It isn’t just a drink – it’s a psychological shift. If that makes me a walking cliché, then so be it.
No longer will I feel “less” for liking this weirdly controversial style of coffee. Where once I’d mumble my order at the counter, feeling faintly embarrassed, this year I’m posting each comforting cup on Instagram with a tongue-in-cheek #cosyvibes hashtag. Because if I get some tiny joy from a seasonal treat then, I ask, what’s it to you? Life’s hard enough – let me enjoy my pumpkin spice latte in peace.