Working women have never had it so bad: discuss
Mothers have a tough time juggling everything, but should we feel sorry for them?
For decades, feminists have talked about working women’s “second shift”, the extra work they do in the home after they have finished their day’s work in the office. It seems that things are much the same now as they were in the past.
A survey out yesterday said that the average modern woman works for five and a half hours a day, and then afterwards spends over half an hour shopping for food, 42 minutes running errands, and so on. In all, a working woman’s day is 15 hours long, says the report.
The survey’s authors write that, “While many see 5pm as the end of the working day, we should spare a thought for women who never get to stop until they finally get into bed.”
Some, they say, never get any time to themselves, and we should feel sorry for them and their unfulfilling lives.
But is it really fair to say this? It’s far from clear that pushing the kids on the swings and taking them to football practice, then washing their dirty socks is in the same league as the average life of a commuting office-worker, who has to slog through London on the tube for an hour, then deal with stress for 12 hours a day.
Is it right to count housework as real work?
Yes (Jeremy Hazlehurst)
It is obvious that housework is real work. Nobody but a fool would say otherwise. I know. I did the hoovering once, and I had to lie down and be fed grapes for a week (joking, joking).
No, but really, of course housework is work. For goodness sake, if what most people do in the City can be classed as work – staring at a screen, finding patterns in stock-market charts, going to strip-clubs and drinking overpriced champagne with clients – then making baked beans on toast while unblocking a drain, juggling four babies and trying to stop a toddler sticking a fork in the plug-socket at the same time most certainly is.
Discrete Parts
Maybe the real problem with this report is that it is based on idea that life can be broken into discrete parts, some of which is work, and some leisure, and that the work parts are miserable, and the leisure parts are for pure pleasure.
Out here in the real world, things aren’t that simple. Looking after the kids might be classed as work for then purposes of this bit of research, but for most in the City who work long hours to make a good life for the jammy-mouthed little cherubs who they rarely see, it’s the kind of work that they would gladly do more of.
Blacking Factories
And work can be pleasurable, or at least fulfilling. It’s not like we are all forced to labour in blacking factories or get blown up in mines any more. Most of us these days take pride from our work, and find that it is central to who we are.
Even housework. True, dusting is a chore, but it’s not all like that. Making dinner for the family is lots of people’s idea of a good, fulfilling way to spend an hour or two. All work and no play is dull, it’s true, but it’s not always obvious which is which.
No (Zoe Strimpel)
There’s something we forget about motherhood and all the work it entails. The choice to have kids is just that: a choice. Women know they’ll be the ones to breast-feed the baby in the middle of the night, and the ones most likely to be able to calm the child down.
And it’s not exactly a secret either that mothers have a stronger drive than fathers to be involved in the logistics of their child’s life.
Men Care Less
A woman wants to make sure the car-pool is sorted; men care less. A woman wants to feel she’s feeding her child properly – on a recent television programme called My Child Won’t Eat, the mothers were ringing their hands with anxiety and self-loathing as they tried to coax proper food down their little ones’ gullets. The fathers seemed more laid back.
Things would sort themselves out. What this means is that if you are a woman who decides to have a child, you will probably end up doing more than your man at home, not because he’s making you – hello, this isn’t the 1950s – but because you will want to instinctively. (That’s not to say that a few months in, your sleep-deprived brain won’t tell you it’s not fair and you never wanted this burden.
Combined Income
As for housework, providing she hasn’t married a lout, a woman can always choose to take up full-time paid work. It’ll be a struggle in the short-term, but the combined income will soon mean good childcare is an option. What? Don’t want to leave little Johnnie with a professional? Then stay home. It’s a choice.
And finally, housework’s fun. Tooling around with the baking tins and then taking the kids to football practice is hardly the same as the drudgery of much paid office work. If I had the choice, I might well stay home.